I’m not bitter
This is my last poem for you
You see I fell in love with him
I wanted him
I thought I was the fuck up
I considered his yesterdays were the fools
But he told me about him
He told me how much he was in love
But I thought I could do better than him
But little did I know
He never forgot him
My birthday presents were bought by him
He was only happy with him
He never got over him
And when we would have sex I would complain
I would tell him he was not giving me everything
Like his nutt
He tried to act like I was crazy
And when we argued that I was feeling denied
That he wouldn’t give over
So I tested it
I went out with other men
I slept with other me
I let other men fall in love with me
To see if he was hiding something from me
to see if I was defected
but I didn’t know he was lying to me
and every time I got back in his bed I felt that denial
that denial that made me feel like I wasn’t good enough
that his family didn’t know me, but my family knew him
I thought I was too dramatic
but they knew David
he could’ve told me
he wasn’t happy
that he was still in love that crackhead whore
the love that denied him and broke his heart
he could’ve told me
but he did
and ten years later I finally listened
the sad part I even tried to be David
thinking if I could be that fuck up he would love me
he lied
he lied
he lied
every time he held me, he lied
but I’m glad I know now
I refuse to be second place
how could he lie like that
I was never going to win
we were never going to be happy
did he not think I was going to find out
yea I slept with other niggas
but you never gave me your heart
I knew I wasn’t crazy
I was second place
you played with my head
and when I said that something wasn’t right
that you couldn’t give me ur body
that when we had sex I didn’t feel like you wanted me
you would tell me that I was crazy
now I know
now I know
I wasn’t crazy
I’m not the fuck up
I’m not the one who was undeserving
thank you
you could’ve told me
I’m not bitter
I’m just happy I’m not crazy
I’m not the villan in the story
it was never my story
because I’m never second place
how did you not know I would figure it out
didn’t I always questioned
couldn’t figure out how they loved me and you didn’t
couldn’t understand how they worshipped me and you didn’t
it’s cool
I’m not bitter
I just happy I know now
and I’m not crazy
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