STREET WRITER

When the pretty fades: Diva Dont

What makes a diva? The word itself suggests superficiality and bitchiness. And if an artist is referred to as a Diva, does it minimizes their talent and glorify their ego? Before I could begin with Beyonce, I had to first ask myself, what happened to Jennifer Lopez? For a good second she was America’s most favorite past time diva doll. She had the hair, make-up, attitude and clothes. Every man wanted to be with her. Women liked her because she rocked her curves and didn’t apologize. Drag Queens idolized her. But what happened? It seemed her ego started to outshine her minimum talent. It was her many marriages. It was the high profile romances and Bennifer. It was releasing her album, perfume, clothing line and movie the same weekend. It was overkill. It was her redundant music videos where you knew she was going to shake her ass, pout into the camera, swing her hair and wear fantastic clothes. Was she just another fade? The problem with toys and fades is that we often get bored. Superstar Barbie may have been fun to play with for a couple of weeks before we diverted our attention to a newer entertainment. I find it’s a problem with labeling female artist “Divas,” because it suggests superficiality and minimizes their talent. It objectifies talented females as objects, hollow egos who only care about their presentation and not their art. It’s one more sexist connotation, that women she be “seen” and not “heard.” A female artist by default, if she’s beautiful and sexy, is almost force by the industry to be a pretty bird in a cage. She is just there to entertain us until we get bored and suspend her back to the dark. She’s just new pussy until another girl turns 18 years old. And what happens after the pretty fades?

Now that I’ve stepped down from my diamond studded soapbox let’s begin the second argument. Is Beyonce a diva or talented artist? For instance, take away the straighten and blonde flowing weave, the short skirts, the booty dancing, the “I’m so pretty” music videos and magazine covers, what do we have left? Is she as insightful and soulful as India Arie; timeless as Sade; can reinvent like Madonna or resilient as Tina Turner? Can the real Beyonce please stand up! We know that she’s ambitious. We know that she is aggressive. We know that she’s an excellent performer and an extraordinary visual illusionist. But we also know that we’re getting bored. There, I said it.

It’s superficial on the American audience part. We idolize you one day and hate you the next. There are the Beyonce Pepsi and L’Oreal commercials, there is Beyonce selling me make-up when I walk into CVS, and there is Beyonce performing with Prince. There is Beyonce performing three times at the Grammy Awards, there is Beyonce at the movie theater, there is Beyonce selling me her mother’s ugly clothes, there is Beyonce selling me perfume, what’s next, the Beyonce cereal and tampons. I’m not hating, but it’s like damn does she have enough money yet or is Beyonce stalking me because she is everywhere? Should I get a restraining order?

Beyonce’s latest musical project, Déjà vu, is obviously crazy in love, the sequel. The problem with sequels, they are never as good as the original. The audience can’t help but compare and complain. Beyonce’s people probably thought they were being clever since the song is called “Déjà vu” which is French for “already seen." They thought they could just re-do her first success. The lazy bastards just basically wanted to kill two birds with one stone, make a music video and promote Beyonce’s mother Tina Knowles hideous clothing line.

It’s creepy. On the opening page of the House of Dereon’s website, Beyonce and her mother relax on a peach one-cushion sofa. Beyonce in her slenderness casually seduces the camera like southern ice tea on a hot day. Her mother stares at her with a hungry grin. She reaches out to touch her daughter’s youthful face like the evil witch in Snow White, as if to hand her a poison apple so that she could fall into a deep sleep and rob her of her youth and beauty. It’s creepy. There’s a reason we stop letting our mother dress us in middle school. Wasn’t it enough she kept putting Destiny’s Child on the worse dress lists with mustard colored evening dresses and girls scout inspired ball gowns? I’m just saying the woman needs to be stopped. The problem with people with a lot of money is they don’t have to struggle. Tina Knowles never had to go to a designer school. She was a hairstylist most of her life. She didn’t have to get rejected. If she was on Project Runway, she would’ve gotten the boot a long time ago. She didn’t have to study fashion. All she needed was a blank check from Beyonce. I don’t understand why it isn’t anyone telling her that her clothes are awful.

It’s the clothes that ruins Beyonce’s new video, Déjà vu. There I said it. It’s those awful ugly ass clothes she’s wearing.

Beyonce made her debut with her high fashion, high concept music videos that looked like glamorous photo shoots. It changed the direction of R&B videos. It reenergized the industry. The problem with déjà vu isn’t that it’s the same concept as her first video “crazy in love” which is basically Beyonce prancing around looking fabulous as if she’s on a virtual runway. The problem with déjà vu isn’t that Beyonce isn’t still beautiful, she looks great, and she’s in the best shape of her life. The problem with déjà vu is Beyonce looks like she broke into her grandmother’s wardrobe. The clothes are hideous and distracting. It brings her down. Not even Beyonce Knowles can pull off white hot pants with a pirate inspired ruffle jacket to match.

As I watched the déjà vu video, all I could think, why the hell is Beyonce running through the fields in her grandmother’s nightgown and white lace gloves. Did she get drunk? And that dance scene with jay Z, what the hell were those sleeves about. Was that supposed to be couture? It’s fitted wrong. It makes her look like a Russian acrobatic circus freak. It’s just wrong. And the last scene, she looks as if she’s wearing a one-piece black girdle that’s lost its elasticity. Beyonce has the best body but and in that outfit she looks like a 90 retired chorus girl, every thing was heading south.

I’m not trying to be a bitchy queen. That’s why I originally asked the question, what makes a Diva? An artist could get away with such insanities. For god sakes, Beyork wore a swan dress to the Grammy Awards and only became more popular. An artist is constantly pushing him or her self and the industry they harass. An artist grows by the day, constantly searching and reusing their life experience as art. How has Beyonce grown in the last ten years? How has she changed from “crazy in love” to now?

Personally, I fucking love Beyonce. Yet, after watching the Déjà vu video, I had to examine why I really loved her. It was her image. It was her presentation. It was her “you will not deny me” attitude. It was my ego. I loved that she was my new superstar Barbie doll. Ergo, the problem. I’m getting bored. There, I said it.

I fear, in another year or two we are going to be asking ourselves whatever happened to Beyonce like we now ask about Lil Kim, Foxy Brown, Deborah Cox, Toni Braxton, Jennifer Lopez, Whitney Houston, Diana Ross, Donna Summers, or even Jody Watley.

If I had it my way, this is how I would change Beyonce’s career.

First, she needs to stop doing those blockbuster movies. She needs some depth in her life. If she really wanted to be an actor, she would take on an edgier role. I also think she should stop worrying about being pretty and test her real talent. I think she should do a music video with a paper-bag over her face. I think she should start making fun of herself. Kill off that “Sasha” image. I think she should start being ungrateful. I think she should take off for a year or two. It’s funny when your career is just beginning; you already have to start planning your comeback. I’ve said it before, controversy made Beyonce, and it will make her again. Then again, there is always Las Vegas.

Soulfully confused. A critique of "SexyBack"

Where’s the sex! The nipplegate bandit arrogantly boasts that he was bringing sexy back! However, as I watched Timberlake’s newest music video I felt like Clara Peller from the infamous Wendy’s commercials looking down at her hamburger buns and yelling “where’s the sex!” There is nothing remotely sexy about the music video “Sexyback.” There, I said it.
I don’t mind that he is stealing Robbie Williams’s image without the joke. I don’t mind that I’m finding him annoying. And I’m not a Justin Timberlake hater. I loved his first album. What I do mind is that when you promise a horny freak like myself sex, I expect nakedness. I want to see some sex.

Justin Timberlake was hotter as a bitter scorned boyfriend trying to get back at his pop princess ex by sleeping with some high class hooker in her bed in the “cry me a river” music video. He was hotter when he was imitating Michael Jackson. He was sexy with his shirt off on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. Now he claims he does drugs and drinks too much. Now he claims he is a bad boy, but I don’t buy it. Now that his new album is coming out, he’s suddenly breaking up with Cameron Diaz. I don’t buy it.

Let’s get back to the video. It’s a typical cliché. It’s a James bond adolescent boy fantasy gone “bye bye bye!” It’s the (insert yawing) hot chick trying to kill the uncover agent, so he must bang her before she bangs him. It’s a redundant assassin ala “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” without the seduction of Angelina Jolie. That woman can make paint drying look sexy. But Timberlake hardly looks at the camera and he keeps his clothes on. In the end it’s a tired “we knocking over the furniture” basic instinct less parody. The playful frolicking with the main “hot chick” character was like watching my grandparents have sex. It was uninspired. It was choreographed and mechanical as his dance moves. It was as painful as watching a grown man getting circumcised. So not sexy. No wonder Britney cheated on him with a background dancer.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not racially or culturally territorial, but we all had our feel of supposedly soulful white people. It used to be so much more entertaining back in the good ole minstrel days when they just painted their faces black and did the watermelon dance. It was less rude. There’s nothing organic about Joss Stone, Christina Aguilera or Justine Timberlake. It’s manufactured urban regurgitation. It’s “acting black.” During the 1920s and 1930s, many white Americans enjoyed seeing and listening to African-American jazz and blues performed by white musicians. They often objected to experiencing the music as performed by the original black artists, but found it acceptable when the music was performed by whites. It sold more. I’m not saying Justin Timberlake is a “gold-digger” but he does like playing nigga for pay.

I admit “Sexyback” is a well produced song. It’s clever. Timberlake doesn’t even sound like himself but reminiscent of a playful Rick James in his glory days or Sly Stone. Given how the vocals in the song sexually slithers, the low deep voice, the cockiness of the lyrics, one would think if would be Mr. Timberlake’s chance to be a little more masculine. I imagined a sexy dominatrix, spiked stilettos, whips, handcuffs or some really 70s porn kinky shit. I imagined he would man up. But what we got was him walking around a club like he lost his car keys. It’s obvious he’s still a mama’s boy. And we all cannot forget the Superbowl incident. We all can not forget how he punked out when the pressure got to hot. The wonder-bread boy got to do what every young male in America would love to do, ripped Janet’s bra off and expose how succulent breasts. He got bragging rights, but what did he do with it? He went on national television and cried and apologized for it. I so lost respect for him. What’s sexy about the minute he got into trouble that he quickly dropped that fake black accent he boasts and became all middle class and Midwestern? I guess he just wanted to use all the benefits of “black for pay” but suffer none of the consequences. But I’m not a hater. If people are idiots to buy it, so be it. There are worse things like police brutality, high gas prices and the war in Iraq.

I don’t hate the player. It’s the game. Black artists become more blonde when they try to cross over. White artist become blacker when they try to change their squeaky clean image. It’s fraudulent. Just like the video and song, I don’t believe it. In the end Mr. Timberlake says “dirty babe, I let you whip me if I misbehave.” I bet if one of Justin Timberlake’s eyelashes fell out he’d cry like a bitch. I saw him on “Punked.” He is like dressing up your cute house pet. It's still a house pet. And Justin Timberlake is still a mouseketeer. He is a virgin long island ice tea. What’s the point? “SexyBack” is a joke.

Passing for White: In defense of Beyonce's Deja Vu

Passing refers to the ability of a person to be regarded as a member of a particular group other than his or her own, such as a different race, ethnicity, class, sex, or disability status, generally with the purpose of gaining social acceptance.

I had to question why Beyonce’s latest project wasn’t doing as well as her previous efforts. It’s not that it isn’t a great a song, it really is, the best out there so far among the pop graveyard. And it’s not that it wasn’t a great video, it is, being a southern black boy I totally got the concept. Déjà vu is French, and shooting on the bayous of Texas and Louisiana, Beyonce was just paying homage to her southern heritage. And I love the shot of her dancing in front of the plantation house. And I love that she even included some Mexican influences with the flamingo dress. But mostly I loved how she ended it with a very Josephine Baker type of dance. It was her most intellectual video to date but yet because she wasn’t dancing around in some bikini with a fur or pretending to be blown up in a car, she wasn’t America’s black Barbie doll anymore. She was finally becoming an artist, ergo, the backlash. It was inevitable. Controversy made Beyonce and it will make her again.

But what’s the real fascination. I’m a Beyonce fan because I love that she likes to perform. I see many artists who don’t have the drive. They are easily forgettable.
And then there are the Madonna’s, Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson, Patti Labelle, Annie Lenox, Dixie chicks, Shania twain, Garth brooks, Marilyn Manson. It’s like when you see those people on stage you know you are going to see a show. A Marilyn Manson show is disturbing but you’re thoroughly entertained. It’s like when Guns and Roses where huge, they could afford to be assholes because they were the best rock band out there. But the love never last for long.

I like Beyonce not for her Blonde hair or bootylicious figure, but its fire in her eyes. I think that’s constantly over looked because she is so good looking. She could’ve played the pretty girl role but she wanted to be a Diva. It’s that you’re not going to deny me “ROCK STAR” braggadocio. It’s what made Jack Nicholson, Marlon Brando, Sidney Portier and even Diana Ross. It’s the “it” factor. There’s nobody like her. And you know when you’re a star when after you are the clones. It’s when the industry tries to come out with the “new” you. And we’ve seen how the videos have changed after Beyonce. Nobody was doing the high Vogue Fashion music video shoots before Beyonce. But even that was stolen from Jody Watley but that’s another subject.

Beyonce since her solo debut has been accused of being everything from whitewashing to a Stepford wife. The black radicals attack her blonde blown out hair as an attack on black women and destruction of the black aesthetic. She’s too white. The fear is she’s almost Michael Jackson white without the bleaching of the skin. But what the hell does that really mean? Is it that black people can only go so far? Is it that black people really are nothing but their skin and African features? Is it that black people are nothing more than what made us slaves and then segregated us to Jim Crow? Yes, out of it came Jazz, Gospel, Hip Hop, Rock and Roll and R&B. Out of it came the ghetto, but that’s became black people adapted and reinvented. It’s not because we’re black people. The same thing that kept us in slavery. Is the same thing that procreates the racism?

But what really got me to questioning was why her latest video wasn’t as widely accepted. Was it because she first performed the song on BET with a blown out afro? I remember a friend telling me that she looked a mess. When Beyonce resembles anything black she looks a mess. But when she’s passing for white, she looks fabulous. Isn’t that we we’re all thinking.

I thought it was clever to change her image. I remember her first single “Work it Out” where she went retro, paid tribute to Tina turner and sang soulfully. It didn’t go over to well with the masses. My friend Tyler said she only extended her role as the character Foxy Brown from the movie Austin Powers. It was a PR move not art. I have a different theory. If we really love Beyonce as much as the world loves seeing Madonna transform her image, wouldn’t the blown out afro be just as acceptable as the straightened blonde hair with Beyonce if we really supported her as an artist. Or is it that we more interested in the politics. The passing for white politics.

I admit, when I see a mixed person passing for white, I’m intrigued. I look for signs. Like with Mariah Carey in the beginning, we only really became intrigued with her after she straightened her hair and became a true blonde. Why did she do that? To sell more records? But why did we care, that’s the bigger question. I’m a true southern boy. I grew up with the skin color, paper bag test issue. That you were only special if your skin color was lighter than a paper bag. But I must say when I did see black people like my grandmother who was almost white; I thought it was something special. It was as if they were cheating and getting away with it. We’re all the same on the inside aren’t we? But when those of us who are black and can pass for white, we question their slavery.

With my grandmother, it was as if they were getting over the same system that couldn’t control God. We’re all just human. A white person can have a black baby and a black woman can have a white baby. No human can control biology. What they tried to control was the categories. You can’t have white without black. To put us in categories. To make white people think they control their whiteness instead of the truth, they bullied their whiteness. They enslaved. They lynched. They attacked. The segregated. They Jim Crow, They legislated. They police brutalized. They followed in stores. They discriminated. And when I see a black person passing for white, it’s like god’s joke. It’s like one of us got through. But white people are black people. It doesn’t matter if you believe in the big bang theory or Adam and Eve, we came from one. We just adapted and evolved.

The first lie of slavery. It makes you feel trapped by your skin color and hair. It makes you feel trapped by your nose and lips. Why not just change it? But when those us who aren’t trapped by it, who inherited the status quo, why must they be punished. It feels like the crab in the bucket theory. Why must Oprah be punished for passing for white. For getting unattainable white success. Why must Beyonce be punished for crossing over to pop stardom? I say it is because of our innate fascination with passing for white. It’s like voodoo. It’s like how could something so dark make something so light. It’s because we don’t first believe in our humanity. It’s because we actually really think we weren’t human beings.

I remember seeing Alek Wek on the cover of Vogue. It completely tripped my mind. She could never pass for white. She was the darkest thing I’d ever seen in my life. But it was hard for my mind to move pass her skin color even as a black person. It was hard for my mind not to compare her to my obsession with passing for white, to not compare her to Naomi Campbell or Halle Berry.

A friend of mine constantly says why is it that there always can only be one of us. I find that funny. He is so obsessed with the ones that pass for white that he forgets about those of us who don’t. It’s like the ones who don’t pass the paper bag test don’t even matter to the ones who don’t pass the paper bag test. Why isn’t it about the art? Why isn’t it about the talent? Why is it that we skip our humanity to get to the politics? Black people keep other black people black, because we believe we’re still slaves. Slaves to America. Slave to the whiteness. Slaves to ourselves. Slaves to the blackness. But were we really ever black? Think about the question. If there hadn’t been slavery, would there be black people? And if we uphold that which made us black as in opposition to white, that which segregated us, that who imprisoned us in this country, doesn’t that still make us slaves? Hmmmm.

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